Guatemala Giving... Phase II

 

A message to our Guatemala Adoption Community on this Giving Tuesday…

16.5. That’s how old our son is now. He’s a junior in high school, thinking about his future and what the world will hold for him as he soon launches into adulthood. Guatemala is part of his identity, but it plays a smaller role than I thought it would. Recently, when given the opportunity to share funds with a non-profit of his choice, he selected an agency that fights childhood cancer rather than a Guatemalan NGO. I was both disappointed and proud in that moment, realizing that it was my mistake to have assumed he would choose Guatemala and that his choice was a sign not only of his understanding of the scope of needs within the universe but also of his agency in selecting the one that spoke to his heart.

Entering Phase II…

Perhaps you’re like us? Shortly after our son had joined our family and begun to take his first steps, we felt called to “give back” to his country of birth. I’m not sure now whether we were motivated by generosity, guilt, or the desire to create visible ties to his culture, but we were successful in identifying a non-profit that gave us all the good feels, and we have supported that same organization for well more than a decade. But now what?

Guatemala has experienced an enormous influx of financial support from our adoption community for the past 20 years but, as our children are growing, many of us are feeling less connected, less motivated, and less passionate about our stewardship, especially when our Guatemalan born children seem indifferent. I share these thoughts today, hoping to inspire a shift in our collective thinking to the next phase of supporting the country that helped build so many families.

Unrestricted Giving…

When our son was a little boy, we were intrigued by the notion of supporting specific indigenous children through educational sponsorship, food aid, and gifts. Over the years, we sent both funds and care packages to these children and their families, and we were rewarded with photos and letters of thanks. We built such close ties that we traveled to Guatemala on many occasions to visit and distribute gifts, much like a fairy godmother would do. I was, in fact, called “madrina” (godmother) on many occasions, even by elderly women who deserved far more respect than I did.

It is in this hallowed year of 2020, where terms like dignity and privilege and equity and agency have taken on a greater depth of meaning, that I reflect upon our past giving patterns and make the very deliberate switch to unrestricted giving in the future.

I know that I have a good heart and that I act with the best of intentions, but – somewhere along the journey – my ego got the best of me and I imposed my own wishes upon the fellow humans that I had pledged to support. I “lifted them up” with the things that I thought they needed… the things that I assumed would make their lives brighter. At times, I was offered a menu of gift choices, and I made my selection as if I was ordering ice cream cones for my kids at the scoop shop window, speaking on their behalf.

In their book, “Doing Good… Says Who?” my friends and authors Connie Newton and the late, great Fran Early share a quote from a local Mayan woman whom they interviewed for their research. She said with such profound grace, “Just because I have less, does not mean that I am less.” I fear that, through my directed giving, I may have made people feel marginalized. That through my picture taking and story-telling, I may have stripped them of their dignity. That I was so lost in being a madrina, that I never saw myself as a peer.

Becoming the sail…

Although things look different now from my rearview mirror, I will always be thankful for the opportunity to have helped sponsored children, families and elders over the years. But now I’m ready for Phase II. Rather than impact an individual student, I would like to help support a school or a tutoring program. Rather than focus on a specific family, I would like to help support a community. Instead of being an anchor, I would like to become the sail.

The organization that we have supported all these years has undergone a major shift in how they deliver services, empowering local staff and local leaders to evaluate and assess needs and ensuring that resources are directed where they are most needed. Large project opportunities are determined by community rather than donors, creating partnership and trust and honoring culture. And, the organization’s mission and vision are now laser focused on just three programs: education, nutrition and health, and economic development. Their once micro approach has become macro, realizing that there can only be generational impact when communities are transformed together.

It’s funny. Our connection to Guatemala began through our son, but now it seemingly carries more meaning for us than it does for him. With no strings attached, we will continue to support organizations in Guatemala that do great work. We don’t need thank you notes or pictures or plaques on walls or fireworks. We simply want to add to the collective pool of resources that helps that great work get done. That’s enough. It always was.